my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
