omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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