Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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