I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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