Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i would punch a child for taco bell
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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