the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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