time to smoke my breakfast
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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