do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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