So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
