and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
