Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
