is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
tell me about the fingering
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