i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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