This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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