i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Randomize
