I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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