I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize