oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
