I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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