thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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