508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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