I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you win again, gameday.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize