this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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