The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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