I have demons in me.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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