Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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