Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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