I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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