It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
