Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
