Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
