I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
