Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
