the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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