i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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