Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
