its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Are my feet made of real feet?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
