Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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