just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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