i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
