You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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