he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize