I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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