OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
