You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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