I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
