I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
