you have to choose: penises or morals?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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