Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
