Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
