what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
