i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
