Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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