don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
