Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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