Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
