I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
