How'd it feel making her break her religion?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
