Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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