she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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