Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
