her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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