We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
