After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
