my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
