I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
