Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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