im about as happy as oj after his trial
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She bit a glass in half.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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