Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
