no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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