Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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