Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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